i find myself coming on this website about everyday, not really for the messaging or the journals or for even my account but to find new portaits to draw.
and then i never upload them on here, even when i so totally have the time too. because without musical or melo drama or not having my ipod anymore i am not busy, im usually scrouging around the house trying to find new things to do. Sometimes i just cave in and do my bros chores and sometime i can acually find new things. making bracelets, cooking, writing, talking to friends on the phone, movies, all that teenage shit.

recently its been getting to more and more and its my fualt i know ;3 and honestly just dont care anymore. i come home and keep myself busy w as much hw as i can. then, i draw some. then i plan out my next art project, then maybe call kody (because hes not man enough to call me), then get on the computer (avoiding my mom as much as posible) and look up new ideas. basically ill do whatever. and its not even summer and ive ran outta things. ive begged my parents to no end to let me get a job, but sense im their last kid, they want me as much as they can. i dont want to spend summer with them. they are all over me like flies to shit and i just cant stand it. so here i am. vent to prolly no one because i right long ass messages that are basically to u just rambling. bahhh.

guess what i jsut noticed? neel week sat is prom D;
kodys so excited yet i find myself here biting my nails. and thats really rare for me, to bite my nails and worry. im usually the one whos excited. its my first date. and whats odd is that we should have had this a long time ago. a very long time ago. and im so scared. what if it does feel right? what if i mess up? i mean yes obviousely he loves me...but omg what if he doesnt like my dress or hair?!?!?! D;; im so scared. HELP. please...

last art lesson i had to stay after for mr. gordons second calls in which i got to speak with one of his students. he was perfect. scruff, skinnies, artist glasses and sharp shaped lips and cheek bones. wore that 'artist look' persay. he asked me to go have a cup of coffee and talk. sadly....very sadly...exstreamly sadly i had to say no. i asked him if he knew i was a freshman in highschool. he luaghed his ass off and said 'well damn. look at you. i cant believe that darling' gahhhh *shivers* damn me xD his name: Chan. isnt that the cutest thing? soooo stario typical.

well for now my friends.
adeu.